On May 30, 2016, I couldn’t sleep. That evening, I proceeded to make a playlist I called “Forever Avril 14th” because– surprise– it consisted of Aphex Twin’s “Avril 14th” all of 21 times in a row. So the playlist didn’t last “forever”, but it was long enough that it would play through until I– usually– fell asleep.
The song is warm and peaceful. Tender and vulnerable. Bittersweet, just like the time period when I first heard the song.
I’ve added to the list over time and will continue to do so with songs that have the same feel.
I have developed a fear or dread of getting in bed/going to bed lately. It’s a fresh hell that I can’t explain. Sometimes the small, familiar comforts, like an old teddy or blanket, are the solution.
Goodnight? Yes, goodnight.